Background information
This is a personal story about discovering my own personal brand — and how you can redefine yours by challenging limiting beliefs and getting real feedback.
I’m in my twenties (and I will keep saying this until the day I turn 30) and I have always been a quiet and insecure kid. I heard that a lot growing up and I just took it for truth. That’s was “who I was”. But one day someone made a comment and suddenly the personal brand I thought I had – or how I believed others perceived me – shattered.
Eye-opener
I started as an internal sale officer with my current company around 2 years ago. The atmosphere and overall family-feeling that radiated within this company made me want to fit in.
One afternoon, while eating lunch at my desk, a colleague said:
“You are very direct, aren’t you?”
— The colleague who shall not be named
The comment caught me completely off guard. I didn’t perceive myself as direct, and no one had ever said that to me before. That’s where personal branding comes in.
Personal branding is the story people tell about you when you’re not in the room – the traits, behaviors, and impressions that stick.
I still believed I was that shy, introverted girl I had always been. But suddenly, I was confronted with personality trait I didn’t even know I had. It opened my eyes: I had changed. And while I was happy about that (the self-help books did something after all), I was also terrified.
What if I changed for the worst?
Limiting beliefs
So, I set out on a journey to get to know myself again. I turned inward. Many of us struggle with limiting beliefs. We tell ourselves we can’t do something, we’re not good enough, or we’re simply “not that type of person”. By taking a step back and looking for the evidence in those statements, we can determine if these thoughts about ourselves are actually true.
In my case
- “I am not social.”
But in my first month at this job, I went to an after-work drink with colleagues I barely knew.
→ Evidence that I’m more social than I thought.
- “I’m not good enough.”
But I completed my on-the-job learning course faster than peers who started the same day.
→ Proof that I’m a fast learner.
There are many more examples like this but you get where I’m going, right?
The next step
When you see the results before you, you can grow by
- Acknowledge that you’re doing better than you think
- Set new goals for yourself.
I proved to myself that I’m already more social than I believed, so I reframed my goal to:
“I want to be less awkward in social settings.”
What I did next might scare you (trust me, it scared me), but it plays an essential role in rebranding yourself. I was not sure how I was perceived by peers – thanks to the comment I’m now grateful for – so I did the unthinkable… I asked them!
Yes, I know, the horror! But it ended up being the best decision I’ve made. By asking people I trusted – and even looked up to – what they would say about me, I gained really valuable insights. I learned about things I still needed to work on, and I also received the sweetest compliments that brightened my day (and gave me the evidence I lacked in our previous exercise).
Remember: people are more willing to help than you might think. Even my manager and team leader were happy to share their thoughts.
Some homework for you
Ask yourself who you are – who you actually are – and where you want to go. And if you’re not sure, that’s okay! I’m still not completely sure either.
Start by answering these questions:
- What 3 words do you think people would use for you now?
- What 3 words would you want them to use?
- What actions would bridge the gap?
- What limiting belief is holding you back?
- What evidence contradicts it?
Trust me, if you try the exercises I talked about today, you’ll have a much clearer idea of who you are to others, who you want to be, and which goals will get you there.
Consistency is key!
I’m not making false promises here. I’ve given you tools and starting points, but if you truly want to rebrand, you will have to put in the work. A new version of you doesn’t appear overnight. You have to act in line with your values and step out of your comfort zone – repeatedly.
People won’t change their perception of you as “shy and introverted” just because you talked to one colleague, one afternoon (oops, that’s where I went wrong). I’m still considered direct, even though it’s been months since that comment. But now I’m aware of it, and everytime I want to react, I pause and think first.
The new you
Keep showing up. Keep acting in line with your values. Keep proving your limiting beliefs wrong, one tiny piece of evidence at a time.
Trust me: next time you walk out of a room, the story they tell about you will be a brand-new one…
And this time, you’ll recognize yourself in it.
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